Email to a (dear) client

Good to see some of you chaps yesterday at our circuit class.
The second reason I’m sitting here doing this on a Saturday is because late last night I was on the way home from the nightclub I mean pub I mean kebab house ahem ahem I mean off licence no no no the gym that was it and I felt a little bit guilty for being so hard on our dear John yesterday!!!
John, aka “The Grazer” is trying really hard to be healthy to keep his greek adonis style physique from heading south and I just wanted to say well done for trying John – there’s nothing worse than smoking and eating chocolate and then some jumped up Personal Trainer who’s never been an ounce overweight in his life and has never as much as looked at a cigarette coming along and suggesting you could be healthier!  I do however have a friend who has been 6 stone overweight, has smoked a quarter of a million Marlboro Lights and may have even been out late to nightclubs, pubs, kebab houses and he tells me that chocolate, cigarettes and honeycomb are not on his list an more.  I suspect that poor old Mr C thinks he’s eating Honeycomb but is actually eating Honeycomb toffee or sponge toffee which is a sugary toffee with a light, rigid, sponge-like texture. Its main ingredients are typically brown sugar, corn syrup (or molasses or golden syrup in the Commonwealth) and baking soda, sometimes with an acid such as vinegar. The baking soda and acid react to form carbon dioxide which is trapped in the highly viscous mixture. When acid is not used, thermal decomposition of the baking soda releases carbon dioxide. The lattice structure is formed while the sugar is liquid, then the toffee sets hard.
If poor old John was eating honeycomb then I stand to be corrected and therefore he should indeed carry on as Bees, like ants, are a specialized form of wasp. The ancestors of bees were wasps in the family Crabronidae, and therefore predators of other insects. The switch from insect prey to pollen may have resulted from the consumption of prey insects which were flower visitors and were partially covered with pollen when they were fed to the wasp larvae. This same evolutionary scenario has also occurred within the vespoid wasps, where the group known as “pollen wasps” also evolved from predatory ancestors. Up until recently, the oldest non-compression bee fossil had been Cretotrigona prisca in New Jersey amber and of Cretaceous age, a meliponine. A recently reported bee fossil, of the genus Melittosphex, is considered “an extinct lineage of pollen-collecting Apoidea sister to the modern bees”, and dates from the early Cretaceous (~100 mya).[14]
Good old Wikipedia 😉

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